Donny's Bereavement Plan
Three Doncaster NHS Trusts have combined to offer full supportive care to those who wish to become 'relatives of the 'deceased''. (Known throughout this article as the 'bereaved')
This package is aimed to help the 'pre-bereaved' who are tired of their 'loved one' to turn themselves, quietly and discretely, into the 'bereaved'. It is a home-based service, offered with no charge at 'point-of-use' by the caring NHS.
Professionals of the standing of GPs, District Nursing Sisters and ordinary bog-standard nurses will be used to help your 'loved one' out of this life and into the next, in an unstoppable and fully-supportive, caring manner.
This support will, in the wider sense, continue, throughout the long 'bereavement' of the stated 'bereaved' by keeping a very close eye on all documents, freely defaming the character of difficult people, bringing into question their mental stability and generally distancing the 'bereaved' from all troubles and cares.
This extra supportiveness has been achieved following a comprehensive and wide-ranging review of care services for the aid of those who wish to be bereaved in Doncaster.
Overseeing functionary authorities, dispensing their 'blind' judgement on these formal matters, will as usual refuse to see. They will sit at their desks, totting up their pension points and reliably keeping free of all controversy.
There is an arrangement with the local plod, whereby its Officers will threaten, cajole and finally ignore, anyone who impinges on the smooth running of this procedure.
The third tranch of support comes from the group known as HMC, which has promised to sit quietly in a corner, in a non-interogatory manner, waiting for a sign from above that neutral causes were overwhelmingly responsible for the terrible bereavement of the 'bereaved'.
As a further incentive, this NHS initiative is rounded off, for a small charge by a friendly local 'specialist bereavement undertaker'. For a small fee, your 'loved one' can be quietly dropped into a hole in the hours of darkness.
This allows the 'bereaved' to get on with the funeral party, without disturbance from the 'loved one' - and with no need to tramp about in cold, damp cemeteries, when they would prefer to be whooping it up at the party.
This wonderful all-inclusive project, is thought to be a leader in the field of helping the 'bereaved' into their bereavement.
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